This is the place to be for your weekly Haiku-for-prizes fix. Click here to read the rules and learn more details. After that, continue visiting this page to keep an eye on your competition...and learn about the ongoing winning entries!
OK. picking this weeks finalists were easy. There were only three entries! But those entries... they rock!!! So get to voting, and good luck.
Haiku #1
The old TV show
A classic for sure, the new?
Unknown to us now.
Haiku #2
Bruce Wayne is angry!
He and the D.P. are through!
(Professionally.)
Haiku #3
Bale's a perfect fit.
West, Keaton, Clooney, all quit.
Joker Rest in Peace
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na...
BATMAN!!!!!!!!
Well, actually The Dark Knight. Widescreen Edition DVD, new and unopened, PLUS...a coupon (possibly expired) for a "FREE order of NEW Chocolate Pastry Delights! from Papa Johns. See inside panel for details." (emphasis not my own)
I haven't "see[n]inside for details" because: 1) I didn't want to peel here sullying the shrink wrap on the CD, and 2) I didn't want to ruin the hope of our prize winner as to whether they might be getting a free Chocolate Pastry Delight from Papa Johns. Oooh - the suspense is going to kill us all. We are hoping that the winner of this fine prize will let us know if, in fact, they did get a free Chocolate Pastry Delight from Papa Johns, and if they ate it while they watched The Dark Knight. If it were up to us we would mandate that they did so, but we will allow the winner a certain amount of autonomy on the matter. Reluctantly.
Remember: The winning Haiku will have something to do with the prize, and also will not suck.
Good luck, and remember to include your email address in your entry!
UPDATE!! And now to vote for this weeks finalists, which we've chosen by consulting a team of Hollywood script readers. As such - we cannot be held responsible for the finalists chosen, nor can we guarantee that your haiku won't be seen in an upcoming episode of Two And A Half Men.
(Insider voting hint/shameless plug: Use the Email Article link below to send to friends and family -- while they're here tell them to take a look around our site.)
Haiku #1
Hope to join the club The contest drives me to write Winning with five votes
Haiku #2
The stick can't be beat. But Where is "Uncertainty"? Down the Hole Alice!
Haiku #3
Total Consciousness, On My Deathbed Would Be Nice, Can't I Have It Now?!
Good Luck
With this week's giveaway we can't offer total consciousness but we do have a really cool golf club that will help you hit like the Dalai Lama.
We think Bill Murray said it best...
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
This week we really went to the garage! We found (among other things) a golf club. It's a Tour Edge brand Bazooka JMax 3 Iron/Wood Hybrid. That just ROLLS off the tongue!!! Maybe it's just the golf club you've been looking for. Our estimated shipping is $15.00, which brings it over the "Our Treat" limit, and means that you will pay for shipping. If you find yourself bewildered by any of this - read the Rules and Regulations, as well as FAQ's here.
Remember, your haiku need to be about the prize, and your email need to be included with your haiku. No one can see it but us - we checked.
UPDATE!! And now to vote for this weeks finalists which we chose by reading tea leaves -- it was hard to see them through the bag, so I hope we got it right. (Insider voting hint/shameless plug: Use the Email Article link below to send to friends and family -- while they're here tell them to take a look around our site.)
1.Poor Colonel Mustard, Life Sentence For Employing Candlesticks Of Glass!!
2. Tiffany crystal Too upscale for me, but wait ... I still covet them!
3. It's Mrs. Hawker In the conservatory With Tiffany sticks
4. How I want these so To use when I celebrate Changing my life’s path
This week we have a rather beguiling giveaway, if we don't say so ourselves -- a pair of crystal candlesticks from Tiffany and Co. They weren't technically in the garage, but they still have to go.
Good for the table on special occasions -- like when Great Aunt Edna comes to visit, bringing trinkets from the Far East. Charming on a bookcase with a hand-drawn love note from your 5 year-old casually propped up on one. Essential when role-playing Clue. (Who knows? Maybe we'll give away a lead pipe and some rope in a future giveaway.) Wonderful beside a sudsy, fragrant bathtub. And very dramatic if used as a weapon when an opossum accidently ends up in your living room one future 3:00 am. "How did I get rid of it? Well, I grabbed my Crystal Tiffany Candlestick!..."
Just think of the ice-breaker these candlesticks will be at the slightly uncomfortable dinner party with your new brother-in-law and his unfortunately placed body piercings. Conversation at a lull as you watch him unsuccessfully wipe the picatta sauce from his lip ring? Bring up your lovely candlesticks, and the unlikely story of how they came to be at your lovely table. Recite the Haiku that you won them with, enthralling your guests with both your Asian poetry prowess and your uber-hep internet skills.
The Crystal Tiffany Candlsticks stand 8 inches tall, have absolutely no chips, cracks, or even smudges at this particular moment, and yes - they are genuine. Frankly, I'm a bit offended that you felt the need to ask!
Welcome to the first ever Great Haiku Garage Giveaway. This week we have a duel giveaway: a useful tool and some ironic artwork. First item is a Precision Die Cast P3 Laser Level, from Restoration Hardware. Don’t let the intimidating name scare you – it looks kinda retro and really cool. It comes with a tripod (with rubberized feet!), an adjustable knob to switch from horizontal to vertical leveling, and an Ultra Power 1500 feet projecting laser!! It’s new in the box, never been used. We have no idea where we got it. Maybe it was a gift. (If it was a gift from you we apologize.) Here’s what this nifty tool has to say for itself: “Frustrated no more in one's picture hanging, tile setting, shelf mounting, cabinet installing endeavors. Those aptly armed with the Precision Laser Level achieve new found craftsman status indeed.” (Perhaps for Mr P3, English is a second language.) It also includes batteries. Everything you will need to perfectly hang:
This framed print by California artist Sally Huss. It has been hanging in our house for several years, and here is what it says…
“What I love to do is not what I do, but what I wait to do after I do what I have to do in order to do what I love to. But, sometimes by that time there isn’t time to do it. So I’d be better off doing what I love to do in the first place.”
Wow! It only took 15 years of staring at this sage advice to finally do something about it!
Remember, post your Haikus in the comments section of this blog, and check back next Sunday to vote for this week's winner, and see next week's prize. For helpful hints and FAQs, look for the link at the top of the page.
And now for the voting. We've used a proprietary system, with algorithms programmed by a NASA scientist, to decide which Haikus would be selected for final voting. (We really just asked the kids.) Here they are. Thanks to everyone for playing along.
1. Power tools and art Among my two fav'rite things Need that advice now!
2. how to be clever about three feet and a knob while Bob quits his job
3. laser level me sally huss says it the best time to now begin
4. For many years now, You've taken crap from others. Now, to give it back!
Welcome to the Great Haiku Garage Giveaway. As the name implies, something will be given away every week in return for your Great Haiku. That something will be from our garage (it will not be the garage itself.) Don't know how to Haiku? Here's the pattern...
Line 1: 5 syllables A po-em for fun
Line 2: 7 syllables Sev-en-teen syl-la-bles long
Line 3: 5 syllables You could win our stuff
How to Enter
Check out what we're offering each week in our weekly Great Haiku Garage Giveaway (heretofore known as GHGG) blog.
Write a Great Haiku about this something, or why you need this something, or how this something will make your life immeasurably happier.
Post your Great Haiku in the Post A Comment section at the bottom of the GHGG blog AND enter your email in the "Author Email" window so that we can contact you if you win (no one else will be able to see your email address.)
Check back in to vote for our Great Haiku finalists.
Do it all again next week.
More Details / FAQ
Why Haiku? Because limericks have a shady past.
Why are you giving away all of your stuff? Go back to the blog and start again. You obviously haven't been paying attention.
Will you ever give away cash? No.
Who picks the finalists? We do. Until there are just too many entries. Then we'll out-source to Bangalore.
How will I get my prize? We will pay for shipping on anything under $10.00. Some fabulous prizes (and some plain-old crap) will cost more than that to ship. When that is the case we will say so in the post that week, and give an estimate from USPS about how much shipping will cost. You may pay for shipping using PayPal. If you live in the Los Angeles area we can arrange for pick-up. Some items, unfortunately, will be for pick-up only. If you win, and you would like us to, we will donate your item to Helping Hands For The Blind. One more thing: Don't bitch. It's free stuff.
How many times can I enter? How many Haikus have you got in you?
What if I've already won? Congratulations!
How do I vote? Every week on our blog we will post our finalists, along with a nifty Haiku-Voting-Poll. You can see instant results as you vote! You can see instant results change after you call you Mom and make her vote for you!
What if my Haiku isn't exactly in Haiku form? Then it's not a Haiku. Boo-hoo for you.
Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 12:01AM 
