Football is meant to be played by 300 pound men wearing helmets

I'm conflicted. I want to like soccer, sorry -- football -- but I don't. I really don't. I like football just fine. No, stay with me -- American football. John Madden and Tom Landry's football. It's soccer, football to the rest of the world, that I don't like. I should probably be more athletically enlightened, but I'd rather watch synchronized swimming than soccer. Hell, I'd rather watch bass fishing. At least something happens in bass fishing, even if its just a snagged lure in the weeds. I'm not going too far out on a limb here in saying that there's a better chance of seeing

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