Before you start thinking that I'm whining about my situation or that I'm not thankful for my life, I just want to say that I know I've been very fortunate. I like living in Los Angeles. It has so much to offer. I know that my job is one that many people would love to have. It has provided for my family for many years. We have wonderful friends. And, we have our health.
It's not that all of that isn't enough. The point is, I'd rather struggle and be happy than continue with a job that dulls me a little more every day. Another twenty-five years until retirement is simply not an option.
Advice I've been given over the years is to do the job for the money and enjoy my time and family while I'm off. It sounds so reasonable. The problem is, there's not much of me left when I'm off. It's a terrible cycle of giving all of my energy and creativity to the company I work for and then recovering (and trying not to spend money) while I'm unemployed and waiting for the next job.
I've realized this advice, while it may work for some, isn't working for me. I want to do something that I enjoy for a living. That way I'm not constantly looking to the horizon for fulfillment. I know my family likes me better when I'm living in that place -- I know I like me better too. In part that's what this leap into uncertainty is all about.